False Identity ⇒Kirno Sohochari


It was a rainy day of late summer. Peoples were dejected to see the wet and dumpy sky. She was pregnant with vaporized stem but not to be fall down in ground. I am enjoying my holiday on this day. Usually I wake up early to prepare me for official burden, but I want to prefer a long sleep in holiday. That day was not exceptional. My pillows sticking me on the bed, but when I wake up some strange things were happening in the surface. I saw a Magpie is sitting in front of my window. The little bird cheering itself by moving its tail ups and down and chattering like a talkative intellectual. Magpie is a very intelligent and skittish bird. This little devil clearly recognizes itself in front of a mirror. It is indeed a great power. Self-recognition is not an easy matter but the little bird has a gifted capacity of recognize itself as a Magpie.

I have passing long days in this planet and yet not define me very well. When I stand in front of a mirror, it confuses me. I see a faked Guy in the glassy object. His fuzzy eyes are filling with chaotic confusion. Mirror reflects an enigmatic person who is bored to think about himself. “Why I am staying in this freaky world?” is a breathtaking question and this Guy is getting tired to do this.

The Guy slowly moved on to the edge of danger and not conscious at all about his destination. His eyes lost their False-identity_6reflections and pinky lips turning on blackish due to the over smoking. His pot belly growing bigger but in dine he feels no test in his tongue. The other essential organs of his body turning down to the size in context of his pot belly. His sexuality attracts the opposite gender in past and he felt proud of it. Burden of life stealth his capacity. This is certainly a disaster. It makes the Guy ridicule and confuse indeed.

This is not enough. Mirror is the most notorious invention of human civilization. The great ancient mind (probably it would be the Mesopotamian who invented copper crafted mirror and then the Egyptian. The Germans were the manufacturer of modern plane mirror in 200 years before.) invented this disturbing stuff. It is lovely when you are young and youthful. The glassy object reflects your beauty then. I felt hurry to mirroring my face in young age. The pubic hair and wet dream provoked me to stands in front of it. I was obsessed about that and felt hurry like a truthful servant.

Standing in front of mirror was a very pleasant experience then. The naughty mirror was truthful to me. I was happy False-identity_4to see a gifted face on it. I thanked to the Mesopotamian for their great invention. It was a thrilling experience when I met my first love and kissed her in front of the mirror. We were happy to mirroring our love and soon it turned deeper. Mirror was the most memorable thing in my youth. I really loved it and never felt any hesitation to shave my face in front of it.

It is true that my first separation was also happening in front of a mirror. We were in bad mode and lost our temper. The naughty mirror was busy to silently reflecting our anguish. When my love exits from the room, I slowly turned down to the mirror and covered my face with unbearable pain. I was crying then. Mirror appeared an inhaler to me on that painful moment. I embraced it by my hand and kissing the object like a lunatic. Mirror helped me back to the life again.

I got married after the sad incidence happened to me. The naughty mirror was the observer of our “Social Contract”. We two were landing in a safe zone and promoting us to be a happy couple then. One fine morning my wife slaps me with her soft fingers and whispering to me, “You rascal! You always forgot to use the condom. Last night I dream a baby. He was kicking in my belly. The little creature was dancing and whirling. Tell me what next!”

We were then in front of mirror. I am memorized the “Social Contract” again and hug my wife with great content. I told her, “Don’t worry. Your dream is true. It is coming from heaven. The almighty God is signaling you to fertile. Our relation is luxuriant with compromise and we are a very happy couple now. I am sorry to say my dear, but this is not enough for the silver line of life. We are now walking on a busy street. The street is flooded on crowd and vehicle. You have to careful about this.

My dear, passing the street by following a “Zebra Crossing” is critical but you have no alternative. “Zebras” are essential for your safety. I think this is the right moment of budding. The ovum and sperm are desperate to meetFalse-identity_3 with each other. I think this will fulfill the empty spaces of our life. The universe is not void my dear. It is fill up with lot of unrecognized stuffs. So let us move for orgasm. It will fulfill your desire. A baby will keep us busy and we are then easily walking on the safe zone.” The naughty mirror was behind the background when I delivered the speech to my lovely wife. The glassy object was shining due to the sunlight. It was coming inside through the window.

Mirror is magical indeed. It reflects our desire when we are enjoying the happiest moment of our life. The glassy object was mirroring our happiness once again when we back to the hospital with a cradle. The baby was lying on the cradle and crying a lot. It was not disturbing. We were dazzling with great pleasure to think that our “Social Contract” is now more secure and enthusiastic for the presence of a crying baby.

Security is essential for every human life. I felt secured on those days. Time is a betrayer. It wipes the memories and forcing you to face the mirror. The battle was easy in young age and complicated whenever you are getting old. That rainy day was a curse for me. The naughty Magpie reminded the truth that I am going to cold. My body cell is losing their temper to being youthful. They are reluctant to trailing me anymore. The feeling was very sad indeed.

False-identity_1I was struck with sadness when I am look through the window and compare me with the outer world. I fixed my sleepy eyes to the outer surface. The surface was thriving like an energetic horse. Everything was alive and vibrating on that day. There is no sign of cold in anywhere. Little kids are tweeting like a bird. Homemakers are moving faster to the kitchen and dining hall. A good smell of cooked fish is floating around the surface. The construction workers are plastering the rooftop. They looked energetic and truthful to the life. A beggar is passing to the lane by singing a folk tune. His violin is pathological like him. It was a rainy day indeed but the surface was not empty at all. The peddlers were busy to sell their groceries. Duty bound neighbors kept them busy to chattering. Their libelous face was looking angered for the market inflation. They are sweating for the humid cloud but their face was eternal on that day.

Everything was perpetual except me. I felt discomfort. Dizziness captured me with great discontent. Millions of neuron cell was dancing in my head. They reminded me that I am living in an abstract world. My surface seems to be real and vibrant but it will omit by death at any moment. The peddlers I see from my window are not the same peddlers whom I met in my childhood. The Magpie is not like the same bird who was chirping once beside my window. Even my fellow neighbors are not the same I met in the past. Their inborn face already vanished from the surface where I am live now.

My head was spinning on that moment. I took back my eyes from the outer surface and stands in front of a mirror. The glassy object was not the same that I used in my boyhood. It was looking obscure due to the scratches. The mirror was not shiny on that day. I touched it by my trembling fingers. The inert object then quickly fall down to the floor and broken by pieces. It was unexpected. I get annoyed to see the broken pieces of mirror. It is a bad symptom. It means my time is coming to be broken. I felt great discontent on the rainy day.

The sky was cloudy but the rain is delaying to fall down. My long day’s friend and rival passed over just a few False-identity_2moments earlier. Broken pieces of glass are joking with me. The skittish Magpie suddenly flies from the window and standing in front of the broken object. The fragmented object was mirroring the bird partially. One piece mirroring its face and another piece showing the tails and wings. The Magpie seemed dizzy to see this. It was difficult for the bird to recognize its identity from the fragmented part of a mirror. His intelligence is not capable to do this. The bird flies over there immediately and disappeared from the surface.

The day was rainy but the humid weather screwed me with dizziness. I was not in good mood then and feeling guilty. It was my fault that I touched the mirror. However, I pick the fragment slices from the floor and trying to knot them with sellotape. It was very difficult. Soon I withdrew me from this effort and remembered the words of Heraclitus. The Greek philosopher said once that everything is flows and nothing stays for lifetime. We never bathe in the same water and in the same river again. The state of water-flow is changing by the new stream of water. Nothing is eternal except motion.

The day was humid and I memorized Heraclitus’s word. I remembered him with doubt and discontent. The Greek philosopher confronted me to the fact that we are identical. My fate is not different from the mirror. Death will come soon to wipes me from the surface. This feeling of “Nothing” was very disappointing for me.

I slapped my face and questioned to me, “Why everything is fragmented in this freaky world! Our life is transitory and transformational, then why we are living in here? Is it predetermined that we will live like this? If it is not, then who is the planner of this artful destruction? Who is the first mover of this motion where nothing is permanent?

I asked myself, “Hey! Why everything is temporary rather than permanent? Is it true that everything is coming from nothing? If it is true then how it could be possible that nothing creates fragmented something?”

The fragmented mirror was acting like an eavesdropper on that rainy day and not intended to answer my question. Suddenly I felt a narrow stream of blood is flowing over my face. Probably my razor betrayed me when the glass was broken for another transition!

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