Walking with infinity ⇒ Kirno Sohochari

He is my friend and my dearest companion. I like him for his simplicity and he likes me for my complex solidarity. He is the dweller of an ordinary village hut and I am living in a spiral apartment of the city. His daily life yet depends on the monotonous chorus of nature. He is the successor of country roads, cricket tune, green paddy field, grassy jungle and marshland. The man is coming from the land of water. River streams are going to be ogre there in rainy season and drooped at winter like a dimmed candle. He is the man of river-wind, used to rise early and going to the bed before midnight. Nocturnal beat of folksy tune has controlled his daily affairs.

infinity_11My lifestyle is utterly different to him. Uneven desire and ambition affixed me to the daily life. I am the electric man and electrified by the switching beat of screwed stairs and fluorescent bedroom. I am used to flashing on high commode and talkative television. These machines are relaxing tranquil to me. I needed these to evacuate my daily anxieties. I am the gift of metropolis. My valued and corporal existence depended on the monotonic jingle of asphalted roads, rampage vehicles, decorated shopping mall, toileted seminar hall, well-dressed waiters, embellished women and saucy corporate bosses. My daily life is rotating on these massive burdens.

I am metropolitan, passing my busy days in concrete decors and tangled up with flyover and traffic jam. My body is not an early riser. It signals me to rise early but used to sleep lately. Deep midnight is alluring to me. When the night is going deeper and everything is hushed to the sleep, I stand on my window to meet the chimera. The great monster is handsome with his lion’s head, goat’s body and snaky tail. He is the inner strength of my survival in a concrete jungle.

I bow-down my head to the monster. The giant is then throwing fire from his lion-face. These fireballs are blessing to me. I am getting intelligent and wise to take these in my soul. The glazing fireballs embodied me to the reality, so that I could preserve my complex solidarity. The great chimera and his blessing are inevitable for me to breathing in the double helix society. I am a society-man with stunning outfit.

The rustic village man is my favorite companion despite these huge disparities. I meet him when if possible and never forget to walk on the riverside with him. The village attracts me because it was the birthing hut of my ancestors. I was born in there but not staying for long days. I left the birthing hut when the magical chimera started to appear in my dream. Anyway, this village is the dream-tank to me. My early boyhood strongly bonded by this. I take a long drive there to restoring the early memories. My dearest companion is the witness of these memories.

infinity_4We are not equal in age but he was the witness of my daredevil memories. This man saw me to swimming in the ogre river streams and was the part of my hide-and-seeks amusement in grassy jungle and long-horned trees. He is the eyewitness of my cattle grazing in the grassland. He saw me to fluting in the landscape when the cattle were busy to ruminating. My early childhood was amazing. It was charming by the hypnotic hot, thunderbolt and relentless rain, foggy mist, little-head doves, surreal turtles, clever and cheerful cuckoos and frolic butterflies in the mustard filed. Snakebite is a common event in the village and I saw it in a hundred times.

The boyhood was thrilling to see the gypsies in marshland. Their acrobatic sorcery with the snake was an amazing event for me. The appealing curvatures of Gypsy women were magnetic and I followed them behind to watch this. My boyhood is indeed memorable for the religious rituals and festivity and be memorable for the fair that was held in harvesting season. I am grateful to my companion. He helped me to experiencing all those events. He was the first window in my life. I was a music-lover then and this man boost up me to understand and love the music.

My companion is great. He opened the door for me to realize the blissful meaning of life. He was the wisest person I have ever met in my life. This man taught me may things. He was the man who provoked me to think about the objective of our existence with great care and simplicity. His handy violin, flutes and musical tone were candid to the meaning of life. He was comfortable to disseminate his thoughts in music.

infinity_15My fellow friend is illiterate and not a great musician at all. He never gets the single chance to educate him on the modern music schooling. However, I never saw him to bother it. His lyrics were coming from his inner soul and he tuned these without any hesitation. I think his soul does know how to fostering a baby into the inner wisdom of life through music. He is a self-educated man with strong commonsense and that is the beauty of his mesmerizing personality.

The man is reaching in his edge of life. I visited my village to meet him in last winter. The day was cold and light foggy in evening sunlight. We were walking by the riverside. I requested him to play a mystic folk melody for me. The inborn singer bent down his head and said:

“My child, I say goodbye to the music and released my soul from this heavenly burden.”

I bit strange to hear this. He was empty on that day. It was exotic for me to seeing him without any musical arrangements. I asked him:

“Why! What is the reason! Tell me why you left music?”

The lyrical man was answering me in a fragmented tone:

“We are walking beside the memorable river my boy. This river is the witness of our daredevil days. You were eager to jump on the ogre steam for swimming and I was excited to tuning my violin with new lyrics. My voice was cheerful on that days and I praised the almighty lord in spite of my confusion to Him. I dedicated my song to Him by associating all of these quest and question in my lyrics.

These days are past my boy! Look at the river. It is not ogre now. Winter dried up its energy to be dancing like a youngling witch. Our energy has its own limit. We are finite and not like an infinite. The meaning of ‘Infinity’ is not fitting in this bodily existence. The unknown almighty and maybe the universe are infinite to their existence.

My body is reaching its limit of finite. I am a dead river now. This decayed existence is not proficient to fleshing me the new life again. My body is spoiled and it is now rotten to the death. I know you are a sensible person. You should have prediction of death. It is strange for me to think that why you are inept to smelling me! The breath is spewing the rotten smell of death. Smell me my boy, you will get the smell. My mind is vigorous with the new clamor of life, it is even more greenish than ever, but this verdant mind is useless when body dies.”


It was a disturbing experience for me to hear his depressed tone. He was not musical at all on that day. I am not coming here to see a feeble wise man. It is difficult to accept the truth that my childhood hero will no longer existed here. He will vanish from the surface after death. It was sad to see him without lyrics and melodious tuning. He is even inept to tuning his handy violin and flute. My tone exploded to him by little anger:

“Are you going to be mad? One day you told to me that the world is always dancing and vibrating. It is impatient to carry the load of energies and this is the beauty of life. Do you remembering, once you said that the energy never dies and that is why life is an endless beginning of deathless energies. The dancing energies are eternal. I clearly remembered the day. It was strangely mystic with blushing moonlight. You teased me to marry her. I was asking to you, ‘Why am? You can marry her if you have desire to married.’

You were laughing to hear my childish rage and rapidly fired to the answer, ‘My wedding ceremony is over long days ago when I completed my learning to my Guruji. He was my Murshid and he gave me two options. One was I could marry his daughter if I wish to married her. Second option was interesting. He told me that if I am not consenting to married her daughter then I could not wed any other woman, but I have to married something else. He warned me that I ought to accept one from these two conditions.

However, I was a youthful Guy on these days and do not late to choose the second options by marrying the almighty universe in front my Murshid. The proposal was a test case from my Murshid to me and I knew it very well. This energetic and youthful universe is my bride from that day. The hangover of our beautiful honeymoon is yet not over my boy.’

Do you remembering that you whispered these words in my childhood and now said to me the opposite! Please withdrawal what you say and play a song for me. I am excited to hear your magical voice. I come here to flying in the foggy sky and to melting my soul into the dark universe. You are the healer of my wound. Please sing a song for me.

My friend, I am tired of living and repeating me in a glassy carpet. Look at my face, is it reflects the wisdom, which I had achieved in my boyhood from you? I know my face is not innocent. It is dripping the bumbling pride of false wisdom. You told me many times that vanity is not wisdom and I utterly believed this. My friend, I bit afraid to seeing me in the mirror. My judicious soul lost the feelings once you were giving to me.

Look at me. I lost the attachment with undying energies. My soul is keeping me busy to a bookish world. I am coming here to survive me from this dreadful artificial intellect. Life is bigger than the talkative words of books. My soul needed an action and you are the shaman to me. Please open your voice for my interest.”

The day was foggy in last winter when I visited the village home. I met my childhood hero and the favorite shaman rejected me. He was reluctant to play the violin and told to me:

“I am sorry my son. What I was telling to you is not true. I was incorrect and baffled on my own thought. I used to think that this body is a mirror of almighty. All the energies are unlimited there. The almighty designed the energies to play with me, so that I could understand the mystery of life and its final destination.

I was a believer of imperishable soul, because the soul is the carrier of immortal energies and these energies are the reflection of shapeless almighty. I did not have any trust on my rotting body and thought that the body will going to the dust after death. I was believe on soul and believed that the soul is existed over there, because it carries the animated deathless energies. They will help me to engrave my existence in the shapeless almighty!


I took a wrong decision my son. My road was not correct. The body and soul are identical. Our soul dies when the body dies. This body and the soul, both of them are getting the same fate of destruction. Our soul is not a carrier, which was my Murshid strongly belief.

The soul is not destined to carry anything. My Murshid strongly believed in Karma. He believed that Karma is the ultimate fate of the body where soul is the mirror of this. Body must die one day but the imprinted Karma could never die. It will take by the soul after death. He believed that the infinite energies are the symbol of our bodily action. They represent the outcome of Karma and Karma represents the beauty of creation. Karma is representing the almighty lord when it does with an altruistic action and the ill-intention Karma represents the devil.

My Murshid was not correct in his thought. He confused himself by separating the body from the soul. His Karma is ‘Moral’. It is the symbol of our bodily action what we are calling ‘Morality’. Our fate after death does not depend on this buggy morality. Karma will die when the body dies. The fate and destiny of life is impartial and impersonal to the morality. The battle between ‘Good and Bad’, ‘Ego and Super-Ego’ means nothing to the wasted body and the fate of life.

This body is the carrier of chaotic energies my boy, but they are just doing their job in here. Energies are unconscious about their action and intention. Everything in this world is autonomous and created without any intention. There is no master planner here. My Murshid failed to understand the truth. He timbered his violin for false wisdom.


The material world perhaps purposeful to its action but the same world would go to be purposeless after the massive destruction. Your body and mind has to be purposeful in real life but both of them are going to be useless after death. Nothing will leave over there except the energies.

The energies are aimlessly deathless my boy. I am trying millions time to presume the action and destiny of deathless energies and failed to trace it. They are indeed constructed me when I was brought up in my mother’s womb as a clot, but nobody could trail them to seeing their action and destiny!

My son, when you realize the fact that your destiny is uncertain you will break down like a glass. Destruction is only the fact of reality and mystic energies are the chaotic elements of the fact. It is not pleasant for me to praise the chaotic devils in my lyrics. They are the symbol of mystical ‘Void and Nothing’. My violin is deadly feeble to imagine the void.

I am not interested to tune a new song my boy. Time is coming to withdraw me from the temporaries. I wish to preparing myself for the unknown chaos of ‘Nothing’. Once I was a believer and now I do not know what am I? Everything is going meaningless to me including the heavenly violin.”

infinity_14The day was foggy when I met my favorite companion in the riverside of a remote village. I was going there to save my soul from the chaotic burdens of life and came back to the glassy apartment with a broken heart. I went to the village house for peace and tranquility but returning to the metropolitan chaos with an unrest mind. What a shame for me!

Time is passing like a racing horse and fresh winter is knocking at the door. I stand beside my window to meet the chimera. He is standing on the lane and getting his preparation of throwing the fireballs. A drop of water is just dripping from my eyes to remembering the message that my dearest companion is no more existed in the world. Last night he was expired and then vanished to the chaotic universe.


It is my duty to join his death funeral, but my mind does not feel any urge to join the event. The ruthless heart is feeling some pleasure to think about that luckily I get a chance to remove the memories of my boyhood hero from the mind. It will help me to forgetting the boyhood and perhaps the entire village. Life is a changing beat of dynamic events. It is urgent for me to forget the remote and nearest events that was painful to me. The blazing chimera is waiting to shoot his fireballs. I closed my eyes to take this.